Is UPSC preparation and love affair compatible?

by: Neha Gupta

Ever since I’ve started preparing for UPSC I’ve becoming a new person ,I’ve seen a transformation in myself as a human being. I have seen people struggling in their lives , having a number of issues, and still they get through the exams with a good ranking; that always made me wonder what made them so strong; is there any external power or something that gives strength from inside?

Gradually, I came to know to this conclusion that nobody from outside is going to heal you or give you success mantra .. Its only “you” who can help yourself to get through the exams doesn’t matter what problems you are facing or whether you are in a relationship or not.

Being into a relationship has nothing significant to do with preparing for UPSC as long as you are good enough to manage both the things together. And that’s what UPSC asks for “managing eveything” together and still get through it. There are no do’s and don’ts. If something worked for someone well that doesn’t mean its gonna work for you also.

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You

*UPSC actually demands huge amount of time for loving books and you will not be able to give enough time to your better half. will she be comfortable with it? if yes then its fine.its your call how you manage that

*on a positive side, being into a relationship helps you keep motivated as well. the preparation constantly will drop down your motivation level, then you need someone to tell you that ‘you can do it!’ (and mark my words,it cant be done better by anyone than a lady who loves you)

*its good if you have a fellow aspirant as your beloved ,i have seen couples living together, preparing and becoming officers.! also the preparation requires lots of discussions and exchange of views,if your girl is a fellow aspirant then its even better.

so, in short: you can be in a relationship if it doesn’t compromise your studies!
Its not about how a relationship will affect your prepration ,but how you gonna manage things accordingly!

*the relationship should add value to you and your preparation. It should not be an overhead.

*every individual is unique – do not enter into relationship just because your peers are entering

*it’s advisable not to start a new affair after jumping into preparation – both of you would need time to know each other. This time may eat into the time you would otherwise devote to UPSC preparation

Have a query for Neha? Drop a comment below (at the end of this page) OR email us at

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Related article:

She had a breakup before UPSC Prelims. This is what she has to say.

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