[This article is in its raw form as sent
by the author who is appearing for UPSC 2018 interview]
Writing some experience of real life which I have seen during my civil service preparation, it may help u to take next step
This article talk about the civil service exam and love(relationship)
I ll xplain u few things and situations what generally an aspirant face while he/she is in relationship especially a tentative relationship whose future is going to be decide after your upsc result.
I know so many people are going through this situation and not able to take a stand on it
So keeping this concern in mind writing this article.
First a fall question is why you people searching for this question’s answer, why you need to know it, and how you overcome from this dilemma.
There is 2 possiblity
- You are already in a relationship and now feeling like you can’t handle upsc with relationship .
- You feel so depressed and demotivated sometimes during the preparation and that time you feel you need a person who is more than a Frnd and family relations, with whom you can share all your ups and downs of a daily routines.
This two questions generally arise in mind during preparation year
Let me tell you some important points which may help you to decide .
- Upsc itself a very long journey, it takes a cmplt (complete) one year if you are damn lucky so
Else it’s like vicious cycle which goes on and u don’t even realise that 2-3years passed in it. So mental strength is basic demand of this exam.
- If you find yourself incapable to deal [with] a relationship with UPSC,which was your decision itself, so how you will handle a district where you have to handle multiple of incidents (riots,accidents,management as well personal life?).
Upsc is not an exam only, it’s a process which makes you capable to deal with so many issues at a time, prepare you mentally strong and a good administrator.
Now come to the point if you ask upsc with love is it possible??
So, yes there is lots of examples who cleared this xam [exam] with good rank being in relationship,so relationship (love) is not an hurdle, our perception and type of your partner decides it how long you can take this relationship with upsc,.
Useful books for relationship management:
The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You
If you [r] partner is understanding, cooperative as well understand the demand of exam, so there is nothing like to break such type of relationship. Feel you are lucky one who have them and share all ur mood, dismood, frustration, feeling like give up ,quit etc.
If your partner is demanding much and can’t understand this exam so u need to rethink about your decision, as u can’t travel or give 3-4days in a month to your partner, it hamper ur study and u ll back to same position where u came in 10-15days so such type of partners may irritate you during your preparation, as this exam really needs a quality time from you and once in a month it’s Okay u not studied, but more than a day you ll back and soon you ll out from race, as you all know multiple reading and revision is basic necessity of this exam. By this you can judge and take a step further.
Now other aspect of you are single and planning to come in relationship with upsc so it’s all depends which type of partner you met, if ur partner also doing upsc preparation, so I think he/she is perfect to sail you through this exam, as both ll be committed to the exam as well for each other, so no place for misunderstanding and any expectations as both of you understand that mood swings, ups down and all
Other thing is ,Is it taking more time from your day than necessary? Should you be spending that time in studying?
Is the energy you are putting in it more than required? (Energy here is – time, effort, emotional, mental, monetary)
Relationships require a lot of energy. You’ll want to meet you’ll get dressed go meet the person, spend time, travel back, then unwind, get to your study table. They are equally taxing, what if you get into an argument, is it not going to affect your ability to study and make you emotionally distraught for a while?
So here you need to think what’s ur [your] personality and how you deal with all things, if u r arrogant in nature so need to revisit on your decision as this ll [will] take you nowhere,and your mind always indulge in reply,which ll distract you from your daily tasks and targets and at last of the day you feel more frustrated and demotivated.
But, if you can handle all this, like those who can, then it shouldn’t matter. Lot of people get into casual relationships that are not emotionally burdensome.
Positive aspects being in relationship you ll get focused mind, u not get attracted towards anyone [else], if you feel demotivated and like to give up thn [then] it’s your love which keeps you alive.
Relationship do nothing with the upsc.
If you see final list each year you ll see every type of person cleared upsc
Like single, committed, divorcee,married.
So it’s not a relationship who decides your success and failure in this exam, it’s your attitude what decides your success in exam.